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One of a Kind News

Table of Contents

1. Welcome Notes

2. Article -- Mother's Day 2002, A Day to Remember

3. Words of Wisdom

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1. Welcome Notes

Dear Friends,

I am so pleased to welcome several new subscribers! Thank you for joining us! My hope is always that you receive some sort of blessing from One of a Kind News.

It's 6:00 a.m. as I sit here writing to you. It promises to be a glorious day here in the Pacific Northwest. The sky is clear, the birds are singing, the water is calm -- it's the kind of day that I want to enjoy to the fullest. I hope, wherever you are, your day is as beautiful as mine.

This issue of One of a Kind News is focused on Mother's Day, a day set aside to honor our mothers. Enjoy!

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2. Mother's Day 2002 -- A Day to Remember

Mother's Day is coming. We are beginning to see ads with lots of ideas for giving to mother. What are you planning? Perhaps a nice card, a gift and maybe a brunch? Those are nice and make for a pleasant day. I want to challenge you, however, to go much further than a pleasant day! How about making it an AWESOME day, a day that mom will remember?

You may ask, "How can I do that?" Well, as you have probably guessed, I have some ideas. I asked myself the following questions: What do mothers most want, but probably wouldn't tell us? What would please a mother more than anything else? What would make her feel important, loved, even cherished? The following came up for me and is my top ten list for making this Mother's Day an AWESOME day:

1. Devote the day to her! Make it all about her. From beginning to end, focus on her. Make her feel like, for this day, she is the most important person in the world.

2. Serve her! Do one thing for her that makes her life easier. Notice what's going on in her life. What needs to be done that's bugging her, causing her stress? Find something and handle it for her. Don't ask her if you can help, don't even tell her you're going to do it. Just do it! Surprise her!

3. Show interest in her! Ask her about her life, her interests and dreams -- and sincerely LISTEN. Ask open-ended "what" questions like "What are you most passionate about?" "What are you most proud of?" You get the idea. Mothers spend their mothering years listening to their children's interests and dreams. Who listens to theirs?

4. Encourage her! Inspire, support and promote her following her own interests and dreams.

5. Learn from her! Ask her to share some of her wisdom, the most important things she has learned in life. LISTEN for how you can apply these learnings to make your own life better.

6. Honor her! Acknowledge the qualities you most admire in her; the "WHO" she is. What's unique and wonderful about who she is?

7. Be proud of her! Tell her in what ways you are proud of her. This is about the "WHAT" she has done in her life.

8. Appreciate her! Tell her (specifically) 10 ways she has blessed your life.

9. Give to her! Give her a meaningful gift that money can't buy. Here's one idea: Make a list of what you appreciate about her. Focus on what she's done right, her strengths, things that make her special in your eyes. Start now and add at least one thing a day from now until Mother's Day. Put this list in a beautiful frame and present it to her on Mother's Day.

10. Touch her! Top the day off by giving her a massage, a foot massage is great!

Do some of these things or all of them and I guarantee you will have an AWESOME Mother's Day.

(I want to acknowledge those of you who have lost your mothers and no longer have this opportunity. This is true for me too. My mother died when I was 24 years old. This does not have to stop us from making Mother's Day an AWESOME day. We can do these things for someone else who is special in our lives. Is there someone who has touched your life in a meaningful way? Mother's Day may be an opportunity to give back.)

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3. Words of Wisdom

For All Moms

We are sitting at lunch when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family". "We're taking a survey," she says, half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. "I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations...."

But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop her best crystal without a moment's hesitation.

I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of her discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.

However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years - not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.

I want her to know that a caesarian scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children's future.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or a cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real, it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reach across the table, squeeze my daughter's hand and offer a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. This blessed gift from God . . . that of being a Mother.

Author Unknown

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Until we meet again, remember to:

Count your garden by the flowers,
Never by the leaves that fall.
Count your days by golden hours,
Don't remember clouds at all.
Count your nights by stars, not shadows.
Count your years with smiles, not tears.
Count your blessings, not your troubles.
Count your age by friends, not years.
--Author Unknown

Blessings to you and yours,

Sharon

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Copyright © 2000, 2001 all rights reserved.
U.S. Library of Congress ISSN: 1536-5891
Permission is granted to reproduce, copy or distribute One of a Kind News so long as this copyright notice and full information about contacting the author is attached. The author of this newsletter is: Sharon L. Demarte, M.A.