![[logo--Phoenix rising to Sun]](../images/phoenix.gif)
|
|
|
|
|
|
One of a Kind News Table of Contents
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = 1. Welcome Notes We have three new subscribers this week. Welcome! If you would like to review past issues of One of a Kind News, click on Archives List. It's Labor Day Weekend and we're nearing the end of another summer. Officially fall begins on September 23rd, so we have three weeks left of summer. What are the things that you wanted to do this summer that you did do? What are the things you intended to do but didn't? What are the things that you still have time to do? What will you do to make the most of the last three weeks of summer? A lot of "What" questions, right? "What" questions are wonderful tools for mining your gold within, for re-connecting with your natural self. In this issue, you will be introduced to this powerful tool. First though, I want to talk about something that affects all of us -- The Not Enough Syndrome. = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = 2. The Not Enough Syndrome When something shows up in my life frequently within a short period of time, I take it as a message to pay attention. What has been showing up for me in the past couple of weeks is what I will call the "Not Enough Syndrome". This subject has come up for me in books and conversations, but the most poignant way it showed up was in a story that I received. It's the story of Elizabeth, a beautiful young woman, who took her own life. Elizabeth suffered from an eating disorder, anorexia nervosa. Found among her belongings were several notes all saying the same thing, "I am enough". I wonder how much of what we do in life is for the purpose of being enough? The majority of us live overly busy, chaotic, unnatural lives. We overextend ourselves, strive, struggle and push ourselves beyond what's healthy. We become addicted to substances, people and things. We live on the edge of stress burnout. Few of us experience inner peace and the joy of being fully alive. What is driving us? Could it be not ever feeling like we are enough? I have been writing about our natural selves, the unique and beautiful "Who" each of us was created to be. I wrote about how we lose touch with our natural selves through the socialization process -- the messages we received as children. It dawned on me that the socialization process is not confined to childhood, but continues throughout our lives. Our world has created ideals about how we should be and how we should look. The media puts forth a constant barrage of messages to remind us. Of course, none of us normal humans can live up to those ideals, but trying to keeps a lot of companies in business. Perhaps the most damaging messages to our natural selves are those about how we should look. Think about all of the things we humans do to try to look like those illusory ideals. We spend money we can't afford or that could be better spent in other ways. We traumatize our bodies with eating disorders, plastic surgeries, implants, injections, over exercising, etc. We develop compulsions and addictions, all in the name of being attractive enough. Lately I have been hearing about children as young as five years old worrying about being fat. We need to wake up and question the "not enough" messages our children are receiving. We need to help them know that "Who" they are is beautiful and more than enough. We need to put less emphasis on outer beauty and more emphasis on inner beauty. As you can probably tell, I feel a lot of energy and passion about this subject! I'm coming to believe that the "Not Enough Syndrome" is a common theme underlying much of the pain in our world. How does the "Not Enough Syndrome" show up in your life and the lives of those you love? = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = In last week's newsletter, I promised you tools for exploring your natural self. For the next few weeks, I will devote this section of the newsletter to doing just that. Re-connecting with your natural self is like starting a new friendship. In a sense you are starting a new friendship -- with yourself. When we start a new friendship, we are curious and interested in the other person. We show our interest by asking questions. In this way, we learn about the other. This is true for getting to know our natural selves as well. But, it's not just asking any kind of questions, it's asking the right questions. The tool I want to introduce you to this week is Wisdom Access Questions (WAQs). Laura Berman Fortgang, Life Coach and originator of the concept of WAQ's writes, "Imagine your brain as one big Yahoo.com". When we want to search for something in Yahoo.com, we put in a keyword. It has to be the right keyword if we are to receive the information we are seeking. When we ask questions of our natural selves, we are in a sense, doing a search. To receive the information we want, we have to put in the right questions. WAQ questions are "What" questions. Typically the questions we ask begin with "who," "what," "why," "when," and "how." "Why" questions tend to put us in the analyzing mode. "Who," "When," and "How" questions tend to give us limited answers. "What" questions tend to open us up to more possibilities. As the name, "Wisdom Access Questions," implies, they help us access our natural wisdom. Here are some questions relating to your past, present and future lives. Ask yourself these questions with the curiosity and interest that you would show toward a new friend. Questions about your past life: What were my happiest memories as a child? Questions about your present life: What am I doing when I am the happiest? Questions about your future life? Imagine your future self in your future life and ask? What does my life look like overall? As answers surface to these questions, be sure and capture them in your journal. These answers are important information about your natural self.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = The following is a wonderful example of teaching about "inner beauty" and although it was written for women, it can apply equally to men. Audrey Hepburn, responding to a request to share her beauty tips, wrote the following: 1. For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. 2. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. 3. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. 4. For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day. 5. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. 6. People, even more than things, have to be restored, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; never throw out anyone. 7. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find it at the end of your arm. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other for helping others. 8. The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. 9. The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode, but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows. 10. The beauty of a woman grows with the passing years. = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Once again, I am recommending this book. It was from Laura Berman Fortgang that I learned about Wisdom Access Questions. This is a wonderful book to help you on your way toward re-connecting with your natural self. Here's a review from Amazon.com: "This well written book offers practical steps for getting your life in order and taking action. Ms. Fortgang focuses your attention on the future and helps you determine what you really want to accomplish in your life and career. It is meaty - no fluff!" Check out this book by clicking on the following link. = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Until we meet again, remember to: Count your garden by the flowers, Blessings to you and yours, Sharon = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
|
||
| sharon@sharondemarte.com c2001, all rights reserved Contact Sharon |