Sharon L. Demarte, M.A. Personal, Professional and Business Coach
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One of a Kind News

Table of Contents

  1. Welcome Notes
  2. Article -- Focus on What's Most Important
  3. Words of Wisdom

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I love hearing from readers. If you would like to write to me, send an email to Sharon@sharondemarte.com. Do not reply to this message, as it won&Mac226;t get to me.

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1. Welcome Notes

Four new subscribers joined us this week -- welcome! If you would like to review past issues of One of a Kind News, click on http://sharondemarte.com/newsletter.html and go to the Archives.

Yesterday my computer stopped running. It just up and quit! It was a space problem. My computer was full. Kind of like when you've eaten too much and you just can't eat another bite, I had stuffed my computer so full that it couldn't take another byte. Hmmm, pretty clever, eh?

The memory was all used up. Memory is the space required by a computer to run software programs and store data. To resolve the problem, I could either add more space (memory) or free up the space that was already there. The truth was that I didn't need a lot of the stuff that was filling up my space. I had added it along the way as it seemed interesting. What I ended up with was a computer that was no longer able to perform my important tasks because it was so full of unimportant software and data.

Our lives can be that way too. We can fill our lives up with so many unimportant things that we don't have the space for those things that are really important to us.

I resolved my computer space problem by reformatting my hard disk. Reformatting erases absolutely everything from the disk. The downside of this is that I had to re-load all of my software. The upside is that I could start with a clean slate and only load my most important things. My computer is running so well now that it feels brand new.

That's a pretty radical solution and fortunately with our lives, we don't have to go that far. Just getting clear of the unimportant so we can focus on the important will often solve our life space problems. Read on.

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2. Focus on What's Most Important and Say "No" to the Rest

If your life were a computer, how well would it be running? Would it be running smoothly and efficiently with plenty of power and space to accomplish all of the things you need it to? Or, would it be barely running, slow, bogged down and sometimes simply stopping?

Well, in a way, our lives are like computers in that they require space (memory) to run well. A computer requires plenty of random access memory (RAM space) to run our software programs and sufficient disk space to store our data. When we overload either, the performance of our computer suffers and carried too far the computer will just stop running. It's the same for our lives.

In a sense, the software programs on our computers are like all of the things we have running in our lives, our projects, to do lists, commitments, activities; the balls we have in the air. The hard disk is like our minds. Some of us have minds that are so full of baggage from the past and fears about the future that we have no space left for the present, for just 'being alive'. When our outer and inner space is consistently overloaded, our performance suffers, our health is negatively affected, and our relationships don't work the way we want them to.

We complain about not having enough time when in reality it's that we don't have enough space. We all have enough time. It's space that we are lacking. We all have the same amount of time - 24 hours a day, but we don't all have the same amount of space. Some of us have so many balls in the air that literally all of our life space is taken up. When our lives become so full, we lose sight of what's most important to us.

When I asked the happiest man I know what he attributes to his always being so happy, he said, "I only have a few things that are important to me and I say "no" to the rest." What a simple, yet profound, philosophy. Think about your own life and what fills it up. How many of the things that take up your life space are really important to you? How many are distractions that take you away from those most important things?

Coaching Tip: Make a list of all the things that are important to you at this time in your life. What relationships, goals, projects, dreams, etc are important to you? Once you have this list, narrow it down to the top five most important items. Another way to look at this might be to ask yourself if you only had six months to live, which items would be most important to you to use your remaining life space for? This list becomes your compass for deciding what stays and what goes.

Now, list all of the things that take up your life space -- list everything. Think inner and outer space. Next, compare those things that are taking up your life space to your five most important items. Which things will you keep and which will you say "no" to?

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3. Words of Wisdom"

"Now" is the operative word. Everything you put in your way
is just a method of putting off the hour when you could actually
be doing your dream."
--Barbara Sher

"If you are impatient with your microwave, you might think
about what that says about your life."
--Allison Quattrocchi

"The obvious is that which is never seen until someone expresses
it simply."
--Kahlil Gibran

"We need to find the courage to say NO to the things and people
that are not serving us if we want to rediscover ourselves and live
our lives with authenticity."
--Barbara De Angelis

"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing left to add, but
when there is nothing left to take away."
--Antoine de St. Exupery

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Until we meet again, remember to:

Count your garden by the flowers,
Never by the leaves that fall.
Count your days by golden hours,
Don't remember clouds at all.
Count your nights by stars, not shadows.
Count your years with smiles, not tears.
Count your blessings, not your troubles.
Count your age by friends, not years.
--Lyvonn Berry

Blessings to you and yours,

Sharon

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U.S. Library of Congress ISSN: 1536-5891
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