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One of a Kind News

Table of Contents

1. Welcome Notes
2. Article -- Retire From Struggling, Striving and Pushing
3. Words of Wisdom
4. Resources

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I love hearing from readers. If you would like to write to me, send an email to Sharon@sharondemarte.com. Do not reply to this message, as it won't get to me.

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1. Welcome Notes

I am pleased to welcome five new subscribers this week. If you would like to review past issues of One of a Kind News, click on http://sharondemarte.com/newsletter.html and go to the Archives.

It feels so good to be writing again. The truth of the matter is that I write to and for myself. If you get something out of what I write, that's an added bonus. I write because I cannot not write. I would write even if no one else ever read my writing. It's my God-given way of expressing myself. Writing is my way of becoming more conscious; it's my way of clarifying my thoughts, of learning about myself and my world, and of sharing those learnings with others. If writing allows me to touch others lives in a meaningful way, I am truly blessed.

Last week I shared with you that I am prone to chronic fatigue and that it has been a gift to me. It has forced me to learn better ways to live. Because there are so many things that I want to accomplish in my life, I have had to learn how to make the most of my energy. One of the ways that I have learned to manage my life energy is by Retiring Before I Retire.

Retirement, in the typical sense of the word, means to leave your career or job so that you can do all of the things that you really want to do. What if you are already doing all of the things you really want to do? What would there be to retire from? That's true for me. I am already doing all of the things I want to be doing with one exception; I would like to travel and learn more about our world.

I love my work! There is nothing I would rather be doing with my life than writing and coaching. I don't imagine that I will ever retire from that. It is who I am. It is what I'm here to do and it comes naturally for me. It is what gives me fulfillment. And, the beauty of my work is that I can do it anywhere, all I need is a telephone and a laptop computer. So, I can travel without having to retire.

There are things, however, that I am retiring from because they drain my energy and keep me from being my best Self. They are things that we all deal with and we don't have to; we can choose to let them go; we can choose to retire from them.

My list of the top 10 things to retire from before you retire is:

1. Struggling, Striving and Pushing

2. Rescuing

3. Drama

4. Shoulds, coulds and ought to's

5. Resisting anything

6. Living in the future and the past

7. Over promising

8. Rushing

9. Unnecessary conflict

10.Attachment to Outcome

For the next 10 issues of One of a Kind News, I will be writing about each of these subjects. This week's issue is on retiring from struggle. Enjoy.

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2. Retire From Struggling, Striving and Pushing

"Life was never meant to be a struggle, just a gentle progression from one point to another, much like walking through a valley on a sunny day." --Stuart Wilde

In order to accomplish anything, we must exert effort, but we don't have to struggle. There is a huge difference between struggle and effort. According to the dictionary, effort is "The active use of energy in producing a result". Struggle is "--to exert one's powers of mind or body especially with painful or strenuous effort."

I have struggled a lot in my life. I struggled to become "good enough", to "know enough", to try to make bad relationships work, and to excel in jobs that I didn't even like. I pushed myself to do more, have more and be more. I built a lot of muscle along the way and am strong in areas that I would never have been otherwise. On the other side of it though, I wore myself out trying to get things that, in the end, I didn't even want. I don't do struggle anymore.

If you are struggling with something, you are working too hard. You may be trying to do more of what already isn't working. Struggling wastes an enormous amount of your precious life energy. Consider that if you are struggling with something, perhaps you are either not supposed to be doing it, or you are supposed to be doing it in a different way. When you are struggling, you are coming from a place of fear and fear drains your energy.

Effort, on the other hand, is taking consistent, focused action in the direction that you want to go. It's going with the flow of life instead of against it. It's taking the path of least resistance. I'll use cleaning as an example. Say you spilled something on your kitchen counter and it has dried and hardened, making it difficult to clean up. Struggling would be to scrub and scrub until it's gone. Effort would be to lay a wet dishcloth on it and allow the moisture to soften the spill to the point where all you have to do is wipe it up.

That's a simplistic example, but imagine how much energy you could save in a day if you used effort instead of struggle on everything you do. Imagine how much more you could accomplish with a lot less expenditure of energy.

Someone once told me "You have the ability to do a lot with very little energy." That is true. I can. That is because, due to chronic fatigue, I have had to learn how to make the most of my precious life energy, to not waste it. I have learned how to use effort instead of struggle. When we retire from struggle and replace it with focused, consistent effort, we build momentum and in the end we accomplish more and it's a whole lot less expensive energetically.

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

1. In what areas of my life am I struggling?

2. What am I trying to accomplish?

3. Is there a better, easier way to do what I am trying to do?

4. Is what I am trying to do worth so much of my precious life energy?

5. Can I afford to spend this much of my life energy struggling?

6. In what ways can I replace struggle with effort?

Have a struggle-free week.

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3. Words of Wisdom

"Remember that the most difficult tasks are consummated, not by a single explosive burst of energy or effort, but by the constant daily application of the best you have within you."
--Og Mandino

"When action grows unprofitable, gather information; when information grows unprofitable, sleep."
--Ursula K. Le Guin

"The great secret of power is never to will to do more than you can accomplish."
--Henrik Ibsen (1828 - 1906)

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4. Resources

Life Was Never Meant to Be a Struggle, by Stuart Wilde

"Through a concerted action plan, this amusing little book helps you quickly identify and eliminate the cause of struggle in your life. You were meant to be FREE&Mac247;to achieve that state, you have to move gradually from struggle into free FLOW!"

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Until we meet again, remember to:

Count your garden by the flowers,
Never by the leaves that fall.
Count your days by golden hours,
Don't remember clouds at all.
Count your nights by stars, not shadows.
Count your years with smiles, not tears.
Count your blessings, not your troubles.
Count your age by friends, not years.
--Lyvonn Berry

Blessings to you and yours,

Sharon

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U.S. Library of Congress ISSN: 1536-5891
Permission is granted to reproduce, copy or distribute One of a Kind News so long as this copyright notice and full information about contacting the author is attached. The author of this newsletter is: Sharon L. Demarte, M.A.