One of a Kind News
"A Formula for Peace" August 16, 2001
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Table of Contents
1. Welcome Notes
2. Article – A Formula For Peace
3. How to Build a Community
4. Words of Wisdom
5. Resources
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1. Welcome Notes
Dear Friends,
Many new subscribers have joined One of a Kind News in
the past couple of weeks. I want to welcome you and thank you
for subscribing.
Life has been full for me since I last wrote. I have two pieces
of exciting news. First, my new grandbaby is a boy! Seeing him
on the ultrasound was a poignant moment, which brought tears to
my eyes. What a miracle he is! What a miracle we all are! Do you
ever stop and think about how awesome we each are?
The second piece of news is that I successfully moved. I feel
such joy to have found this wonderful place. It was my vision to
live in a place near the water again, with a view and that is pet
friendly. I'm sitting in the middle of my vision! As I write this,
I am looking at a picture post card view of Puget Sound and the
Olympics. It's a great place to live and work. The beauty that
surrounds me nurtures my soul. I love the sights, sounds, smells
and feelings of this place.
Note: My new phone number is 206-938-1867.
Some of life's lessons are presented in the most fundamental of
contexts. In this issue of One of a Kind News, I share one such
lesson with you.
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2. A Formula For Peace
Living in an apartment in the city is a whole new lifestyle for Me Too,
Nugget and I. One big change has to do with the matter of potty
breaks (I told you it was a fundamental context). Without a yard, I
am relegated to walking the dogs several times a day. For the most
part, I am enjoying this daily ritual. Our new neighborhood is abundant
with beautiful and interesting places to walk. And, I'm getting a lot of
extra exercise in the process.
The one walk of the day that I do not enjoy is the first one in the
morning. Fresh out of bed, dressed in my robe, and without my first
cup of coffee, I don't look forward to taking a walk. This morning,
I was particularly anxious to get it over with and get on with the
multitude of things I wanted to accomplish. Instead of cooperating
with my desire to hurry up, Me Too obstinately just kept walking,
doing nothing to relieve herself. I found myself feeling impatient
and frustrated. I took her and Nugget back inside.
As I settled into my comfy chair with my first cup of coffee and my
journal, Me Too started whining at the door. I waited, but she didn't
give up. Off we went again, leaving my coffee to get cold. Again, she
just kept walking – same routine as before. By this time, I was feeling
exasperated. My mind was going something like this: "What's with her
anyway? Doesn't she know I'm in a hurry?" Finally, after no progress,
I whisked them back up the elevator and into the apartment.
I nuked my coffee and settled back into my chair and began to write.
She was whining at the door again! By now, I was feeling angry – the
next level up from exasperation.
All of a sudden I realized that I was angry at a little dog because she
wouldn't go to the bathroom when I wanted her to. When I realized
how silly that was, I broke out laughing. Laughter is a great attitude
shifter. This time I ventured out in a different mood. This time, we
would just walk for as long as it took. I could feel myself relax and
let go of trying to get her to hurry up. As soon as we got downstairs
and outside, she did her business. Now, what was the difference this
time?
The whole thing really had nothing to do with Me Too. It was about me.
I was not in the present. I was in the future thinking about what I
would rather be doing. I was unhappy because I was doing something
that I didn't want to do. I viewed this chore as an interruption – a
necessary evil. I resented having to do it. What I learned from this
simple event was fourfold:
1. Attitude – how my attitude affects others (dogs sense our moods just
like other people do – and react to them).
2. Patience - some things in life just can't be rushed.
3. Being in the present – when I'm focused on the future, I don't enjoy
the present moment AND I have a choice about which place to be.
4. Completing something fully the first time - how much easier and less
stressful it is to take the time to do something completely the first time.
Out of this came the following formula: Positive Attitude + Patience +
Being in the Present + Completing something fully the first time = Peace.
Can you think of areas in your life where this formula would be helpful?
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3. How to Build a Community
I plan to make West Seattle my new community and want to be an active
part of it. I thought these tips from Mary Barknecht, a Voluntary
Simplicity workshop leader based in New York City, were good.
HOW TO BUILD COMMUNITY
Turn off your TV. Leave your house. Look up when you are walking.
Know your neighbor. Sit on your stoop. Greet people. Plant flowers.
Use your library. Play together. Help a lost dog. Share what you have.
Buy from local merchants. Take children to the park. Garden together.
Read stories aloud. Dance in the street. Talk to the mail carrier.
Listen to the birds. Put up a swing. Help carry something heavy. Have
potlucks. Support neighborhood schools. Fix it even if you didn't
break it. Ask a question. Open your shades. Ask for help when you
need it. Pick up litter. Hire young people for odd jobs. Turn up the
music. Turn down the music. Organize a block party. Start a tradition.
Share your skills. Bake extra and share. Honor elders. Barter for
your goods. Take back the night. Sing together. Learn from new and
uncomfortable angles. Listen before you react to anger. Mediate a
conflict. Seek to understand.
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4. Words of Wisdom
"Sometimes something worth doing is worth overdoing."
--David Letterman
"To chop a tree quickly, spend twice the time sharpening
the ax.
-- Chinese proverb
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5. Resources
CoachVille
Thomas Leonard, sometimes called the Patriarch of the Coaching
Profession, founded CoachVille. It is an online training firm for
personal, professional and corporate coaches. I joined CoachVille
(lifetime membership is only $79) as a founding member because
I have a great deal of respect for Leonard's work. I have been
delighted with receiving access to the very latest in tools that I can
use with my clients and for my own training as a professional coach.
Leonard has a reputation for giving a lot of value for the money and
he certainly is living up to that reputation with CoachVille. Whether
you are a coach, aspire to be a coach, or think that coaching skills
might be helpful in your work and/or your personal life, I encourage
you to visit the Coachville site at: http://www.thomasleonard.com/coachville/default.lasso?id=582464
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Until we meet again, remember to:
Count your garden by the flowers,
Never by the leaves that fall.
Count your days by golden hours,
Don't remember clouds at all.
Count your nights by stars, not shadows.
Count your years with smiles, not tears.
Count your blessings, not your troubles.
Count your age by friends, not years.
--Author Unknown
Blessings to you and yours,
Sharon
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Sharon Demarte is a Life Success Coach. She coaches individuals
by telephone and Internet, helping her clients close the gap
between where they are and where they want to be. Her clients
come from all walks of life: small business owners who are growing
their businesses, professionals who are growing their practices,
people in all kinds of life transitions and those who just want a
more balanced lifestyle. She works with people of all ages, from
the young who want to get a good start in life to the Too Young
To Retire – those who are the age of customary retirement, but
choose to go on to yet another career.
She works best with people who have a strong desire, a willingness
to take action, and are motivated to increase the quality of their
lives – sometimes even in difficult situations.
If you are a person who wants more out of life and would like to
explore the possibilities of partnering with Sharon as your coach,
please contact her by email: sharon@sharondemarte.com ; or by
telephone: 206-938-1867.
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Copyright © 2000, 2001 all rights reserved. Permission is granted
to reproduce, copy or distribute One of a Kind News so long as
this copyright notice and full information about contacting the
author is attached. The author of this newsletter is:
Sharon L. Demarte, M.A.
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